rainbowrosewichcolor

I feel like screaming, My life is falling apart in some ways. I dont know what to do... I just want to fight and battle against fate. But it's impossible, to fight agaisnt fate... Since fate herself isnt a person. I feel almost dead in away, everything is just like a puzzle put together. But despite how the puzzle is put together, the peices keep falling. I keep putting them back but they just end up falling in the end. A person who was like a father to me is almost gone I dont know what to do. At first we thought it was his medication, but it wasnt it was his mind. He's only 74 but it makes sense... he was blind, is on dialisis...

Well, he never said "will you go out with me". I did... and i'm glad I did and I dont regret a single thing. He makes me laugh, blush, happy... currently he hasnt made me angery. The light he put in my heart has know turnd into a small flame. Changing color each and everyday, sometimes even every minute it will change. This is what he deos to me and i wonder what do I do to him, what do I make him feel. There are lots of stuff I want to do with him but I gotta remember that I cant rush, or else if I do everything will crash into the ground and in 3 seconds will explode... and everything will be lost. I wonder if i'll see him today, I h

He brightens me up... when i was confused about my feelings for another, i talked to him, and because of him he cheered me up. And even though i was still a bit sad, he lit up my day. So soon i guess in a away he became my light and put light in my heart. I really thank him and hope that soon i can tell him the way i feel since i wasnt able to do that with the other one. But i think if i am given enougth time, and the chance to do it i think with this one i can tell him i like him. lets just hope nothing will crash down like before. I dont think it will happen... but deep in side my heart i feel that insccurity and i dont know what to do

I dont know what to do with myself. The love i feel for him is real, even if it isnt love quit yet... but then why? Did i use love, what deos he feel for me again. I heard awhile ago he liked me... but deos he still like me that way. I soon after heard he would wait for me... is that true has he really waited for me. can i be together with him... what can be done i like him and i dont know when to ask him out, i know i will have to wait awhile but i sometimes think 'when i see him next time i'll ask him out'. it's really confusing. frustrating is what i feel at times and i just dont know what to do but... i cant do that much, i guess i'

Even though we love each other why do you keep on saying the same "I think we should break up" the voice you said it in was so cold and dry like you never loved me. I don't want  that why, why, why do you keep saying that, I just want to be with you even if  this love cant be aloud by others, why are you caring about the people, what about me, I don't get it. If you're so worried about what these others think, then why, why, why, did you love me and tell me the 3 words… I love you, why, why, why, did you tell me those words then just turn away, what happened to you. Why, why are you doing this, turning away and then never saying why

I'm tired of being someone else, I just wanna say what's on my mind and what's in my heart, I'm tired of being a person not me. No matter were I go I can never be me unless it's inside myself. But how do I let myself, how do I speak my mind, how do I speak with my heart, were can I go besides in side myself to be the person I wanna be. No matter what I said to you, no matter what I did to you, you were always there for me, no matter were I was you never left my side. But why do this all for me when all I did was yell and insult you…what made you stay by my side, what made you want to be by my side. What was it that was so…fascina